We all know lazing around waiting for a job (I mean job hunting *cough cough*) can make our brains a little bit “foggy” so to get the cogs turning and to jump start your psyche here is a booster list for starting your new job!

This will help you physically prepare which will in turn bring back your memory, you know to remember what working was really like after a gap year, sabbatical/vacay, break, study leave, retrenchment etc.

It is said that the way we keep our environment is the way we will FEEL inside, so if your room is a mess your brain is likely to feel fuzzy, let’s clean/spring clean the outside our inside will begin to feel energized again (if this was ever the case) and to boost your moral and productivity! (Who doesn’t hate forgetting things on their first day? First impressions do count!)

Essentials:

A book bag – remember the good ol’ book bags? Well we need something like this! I’ve upgraded to a Pierre Cardin laptop bag with two pouches and a front pocket for my bits and bobs.

1. Paper/Notebooks/Diary – personal ones with to-do lists and work ones, write the company name on one of them to impress (why not?!)
2. Stationery – highlighters, pens, pencils, ruler, why not some glitter pens?! (Think about the impression you are trying to create though – Legally Blonde vs Devil Wears Prada)
3. Laptop and charger (make sure this is charged) for me it’s just a normal Macbook Pro
4. Glasses or contacts if you wear those!
5. Wallet (with money and cards)
6. YOUR keys! (otherwise you may need to break into your own car…or your house and then get arrested and will NOT make it to your first day!)
7. Copies of our important documents such as identity, qualifications and drivers etc.

Odds and ends:

1. Breath mints/gum – I like to go with Smints
2. Makeup to do some retouches – this could include some lip ice, mascara, eyeliner, concealer, powder, lipstick (in case that cute guy asks you out for drinks after work) Personally I use Inglot and Essence lippy, Essence waterproof mascara (in case I cry in the bathrooms), Nyx compact mirror and eyeshadow all in one, Labello lip balm…etc. but you don’t have to copy me, I’m not that cool!
3. Hair tie – this one is self explanatory
4. Spray – perfume or body spray, which doubles up as sneaky toilet spray to cover up bodily excretions (I like to carry around Yardley Gorgeous or Burberry)
5. Sunnies (because you may have to step outside to get some lunch or smoke – BUT NO don’t smoke this is bad for you, or you may have to drive somewhere if your job includes sales and meetings)
6. Cables/chargers (for those vital technological devices we RELY upon, also think CAR CHARGER/USB)
7. Earphones (or headphones, but this isn’t a study sesh so try conceal them till you see what the office norm is)
8. Hand cream for those dry cracked hands as a result of cheap bathroom soap
9. Sanitzer – for door knobs, your desk and hands…(I am a germophobe…)
10. Medicine – think headache tablets, sucking sweets/losangers as fancy people call them not like us lamens, nausea tablets for boardroom jitters, immodium for emergency accidents, allergex etc. be imaginative here (like me hpperchondriac) as we do not want to be sick on our first day! (Or you could just take everything before you leave the house as I do, not recommended for those who aren’t used to permanent drowsiness.)
11. Your own tea bags and sachets, you know in case they aren’t very “generous” thee, let’s hope they don’t mind you taking some of their precious water!

Do the night before:

1. Pack your bag – refer to list 1 above (can you tell I have OCD?)
2. Pack your lunch – perhaps a fruit, a sandwich and some snacks
3. Set out the clothes you want to wear – something professional, practical, comfortable 
4. Have a bath or shower – add some lavender essential oil for ultimate relaxation, and a glass of wine! (but don’t listen to me as a functioning wine drinker, not everyone can)
5. Have a light dinner or you’ll get cramps either at night or the next day
6. Take a tranquiliser and try to meditate (who am I kidding? I’ve tried and failed multiple times! But try it anyway if you have got those nerves?!)
7. Charge your laptop and phone
8. Set an alarm or several
9. DO NOT watch a horror – this is the easiest way to get nightmares…and to be tired and groggy the next day – let’s start off on the right foot here
10. Have a mini freak out VS pep talk – or let someone else give you one? Phone a friend?
11. Go to bed early – try not to take a sleeping pill because the side effects can be nasty, you may feel like a zombie walking around in a very lucid dream the next day!

On the day

1. If you are like me set alarms every 10 minutes AND one at the time you are preempting to leave the house (who am i kidding?! This never happens! Set your time forward!) you can even set one when you are SUPPOSED to be at the office… although this can be embarrassing if it goes off in front of a colleague, trust me I now! Just laugh it off… tell them it has a mind of it’s own “You know how technology is?! hahahahah”
2. Crawl to the kitchen and make yourself some coffee (I am not a morning person, if you are feel free to skip to the kettle, maybe you should rethink that caffeine?)
3. Have breakfast if you’re one of those WEIRD people who can eat at 6am
4. Mentally prepare while you sip your drink, as daunting as it may seem it may not be that bad (or it might be but on the upside you’ll still learn something)

This job may not be right but give it your best shot! Why not?

(mental note to self: do an aptitude test in future and a Myers Briggs test to determine what you are really good at! But remember life is about the ride not the destination. We need to find out what we hate to discover what we love. As long as you’re learning and earning that’s what counts. We all have bills to pay! If you don’t stop reading this… only joking, this is FREE advice for anyone and everyone!)

4. Take some vitamins/energy boosters (I love neurobian and vit B)
5. Get dressed (this should be obvious)
6. Makeup your face, do your hair (if you’re a guy feel free to participate in this action, it’s the new thing, metro ye know? Just don’t overdo the base!)
7. Don’t run out the house without brushing your teeth, you will worry about all day once you actually notice! If this does happen to you get a serviette and wipe your teeth, then get something minty flavoured.
8. Do not forget a water bottle, we know it is not a marathon but dehydration can affect the brain and body.
9. Say good bye to your dog who thinks you’re leaving him forever… backing out the door try mental telepathy to let him know you will be back when the sun is setting, if he looks at you he KNOWS! (wait… did you remember to feed him?)
10. Right! Now, get out your map if you’re over 60 or GPS your way there – hopefully you already know where it is, where to park and who to speak/report to and hopefully you remembered to put in gas… (take traffic into account)

If any of the above seem strange and not do-able to you (say 30% or more) perhaps reconsider your employment, profession or seek out a life coach!

P.S when you GET TO THE OFFICE/YOUR DESK – make a list of what to do that day and for the next few days … if this appeals to you speak to your shrink about OCD! Just kidding, lists definitely help you to get organized and to understand what you need to do, expectations, goals etc. it’s far better than trying to remember everything anyway unless you’re surer human! Even with over 120 IQ I sometimes still suck at life so this is a list to encourage YOU not to do the same!